Love and Learn

We have all heard the terms "Live and Learn" and "Everything happens for a reason". Well, I believe in "Love and Learn" and that people come in and out of our lives for many reasons. We all have friends and ex-lovers that are no longer in our lives. So what is the reason that they were in our lives to begin with and why are they not there now?

When someone comes into your life, no matter how long or short of a time period, it is for some reason that they are there. It can be as simple as someone that makes you laugh or smile when you are having a bad day or a long term relationship. The relationships can be either as a friend or a Lover. The friends can be there to help you through life or business. To be there to share special moments in your life or to pick you up when you are down. To go on vacations with or go for a motorcycle ride. These someones can also be complete strangers. I try to make at least one stranger smile everyday. It can be the Drive-thru attendant, a waitress, or even someone walking down the street. It doesn't take much to get someone to smile and the end result is so worth it. If I can make that person's day just a tad bit brighter then I have accomplished my goal. This is just my personality. Some insecure people may see this as me flirting but it isn't, it's my attempt to make the world a happier place. And there are many days when I really don't feel like smiling and it will happen to me so I know both sides of the feeling.

Last year I went through a very tough time. I hated my job, my 3 year relationship was ending and I was just miserable. My whole life seemed to be crashing down. One night on my way home from work I caught a train at a crossing. I was sitting in my truck in silence, hating my life, wishing for change. I'm watching the freight train going by, car by car. And then I saw it. It was a brown boxcar, old and rusty. On the side of the car I see the words, "Bite Me" in graffiti. First I smiled and then I couldn't help from laughing. It was perfect! It was how I felt. It was me looking into my life and just saying "Bite Me!"

But friends and Loves do come and go. Friendships can end for many reasons, business, moving, diasagreements. Every relationship we have, with either a friend or lover, we learn something. We learn something about ourselves, others, life, love. We learn that sometimes we are too nice and get taken advantage of. We learn that money can end a friendship and relationship. When we start a new relationship, I think we all want it to last. We think, "This is it!" and we tell all of our friends, "This is the ONE!" But I do know that some people will start a relationship just to fill a void temporarily until "The One" comes along instead of "The One for Now". And I do believe that we pull something from every relationship. I have had a few relationships, both long term and short term, where I have showed these heart broken women what Love is supposed to be. They came from unhappy marriages and bad divorces and told me that they never knew a relationship and Love could be like this. After their marriages they didn't believe that they were ever going to Love again until I entered their life. All I did was be myself. This is me. I know how I want to be Loved and how I want my partner to be with me, so I want to Love them as I want to be Loved.

But for some reason it still doesn't work out. And I just can't figure it out. If I Loved you like no other man has and brought you so much happiness, happiness that your friends and family actually thanked me for, then what is the problem? I am a man and I am from Mars. We like to fix things. But if we don't know what the problem is then we can't fix it. So then I think the problem is me. What did I do wrong? How can I fix it? And I beat myself up about it, get angry or depressed. Then I think what a waste of time this was. I was alone and unhappy and then I met this special someone and life was great. It ended and now I am right back where I started. Where is my Happily Ever After? I wanna be the old couple at the restaurant holding hands and kissing across the table, not eating alone again. So I try to learn from it. I take what ever I can from that relationship and use it for my next. To make it better and brighter.

And I want those lost Loves to learn from me. To learn that there is a man out there that can Love you for everything that you do. A man that Loves your smile, your laugh, your kisses and your touch. A man to tell you how beautiful your are and how pretty your eyes are even when your don't feel it. A man that will listen to you talk about your flaws and Love every one of them. A man that will dance with you no matter how silly he looks. A man to take you to the latest Diane Lane chick flick and keep you warm by rubbing your legs because the theater is cold. A man to share a sunset with. A man that will lay next to you and just hold you. A man that can look into your eyes and tell you he Loves you without speaking a single word.

We must learn from Love everyday, whether it is good or bad. Try to take the good from the bad and use it to make it better. You can't give up on Love. Just like everything in our lives, it takes work. You have to want it more than anything. And do what it takes to make it work.

Love is a test. Everyone fails. Learn and re-test.