Falling In Love

How do you know when you are falling in Love? At what point are you actually in Love? When does the falling stop and the Loving begin?

When we meet someone there is aways some sort of attraction. It could be looks, lifestyle, accomplishments, personality or family values. Our attractions for others can also be the filling of a hole in our life. A lot of people say that looks should not be a reason for attraction because beauty is only skin deep. That does have some truth to it but looks can also be how a person presents himself/herself. Let's say there are two guys sitting at a bar. One guy has messed up hair, wrinkled clothes, a few days growth of facial hair and is sitting alone and just looks angry. Guy number two looks very clean...clothes are perfect, face is clean shaven (maybe shaved head) and is smiling and talking and laughing with some friends. Not knowing anything else about these two, including career, bank account, accomplishments or family values, which one is more attractive?

A single mother may find a single father at a park and see the interaction he has with his child and want her child to have that same interaction or male figure in their life. A woman may see a successful man driving an expensive car, wearing a very nice suit and be attracted to his house, boat, vacation house, toys and his business accomplishments. So now she is attracted to material things. Does she fall in Love with the lifestyle and "things" or is it him? Let's say 3 years later the guys successful Real Estate business crashes with the market, he sells the boat and vacation home to pay for the loss he now has on his house and has no time to play with the toys. She'd better be in Love with him now because that's all she has.

Okay, so now we have the atttraction. Now comes the building of the relationship. As this couple spends more and more time together, whether it be everyday since they met or just a few times a week they become closer and closer. The more time they spend together the less time they want to be apart. When they are apart they call eachother just to hear the other's voice, or send texts just to say "hi" or even just a smilie face :-). As this friendship/relationship grows stronger we introduce sex into it. Here is where it gets tricky. Sexual appetite can be a HUGE problem. If both parties are not looking at the same menu this can cause problems, fights and even failure. So now you have the attraction but you just aren't getting fulfilled in the bedroom. Do you just deal with it and go on wanting more than what you have? Do you try to change the other person and hope that they don't get offended? I think sexual compatability is a major reason why a lot of relationships don't last. He wants it but she doesn't. She wants it as much as they did when the got married. Now 5, 10, 15 years later it just isn't there. Or he goes and gets it somewhere else. And don't even get me started on women who use sex to make a statement. If you are mad at me, be mad. Let's make love and be happy for a brief moment and then you can continue to be mad.

We have attraction and sex and now comes the Love. We have all heard or said, "I think I am falling for you". I think this comes when you feel that you and your partner are compatable in every way. You make eachother laugh and smile. You can lay next to eachother and just talk about everything and never run out of things to say. You go out dancing and just act goofy and smile and laugh and you don't care what other people think about how silly you are. Strangers comment on how happy you look together. You can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie and just hold eachother. And when you are holding eachother, and staring into eachother's eyes and your head is telling you to say "it". The moment is right, everything is perfect...just say "it". Then you think it's too soon, or it's gonna scare her or freak her out. But then you think how wonderful it would be to hear her say it right back. And you don't. You can't. Maybe next time you can get the courage to say it. Maybe she will say it first, but no one does. And then what happens....your at a party, you've been drinking, she walks in, your eyes meet and you run to her and say, "I LOVE YOU!" And your mind says, "Wait, what did we just say? Who turned of the mouth filter?" And now it's out there. Not the most romantic story for the grandkids but its out. And you make sure the next time you say it, it's special. And it will be special everytime you say it.

To hear someone say "I Love You" is so wonderful. The first time she said "I Love You" my whole body got hot. My head was confused and disoriented, but it felt good. It had been a long time since I had heard it and I didn't know if I was going to hear it again. I wanted her to say it again. And she did! Holy Crap! What is happening? This is it! I'm in Love! We are in Love! I Love her and she Loves me. I wanna say it every morning and night and 100 times during the day. I don't want a minute to go by during the day that she doesn't know that I Love her.

How do we know that this is Love? What proof do we have that this is Love? We said it so it's true right? Are they just words? We tend to use that word a lot. "I Love chocolate cake." "I Love that movie!" So how is "I Love You" different?

To me, being in Love is when you think about her all the time. When you can see her in your mind no matter how far apart you are. When every day you can picture the first time you felt her hand in yours. The first time you kissed. The first time you made love. When you can't wait to see her every day. When you are up to your ears in work and stress and you have this feeling inside of you to take a step back and text, "Hi Beautiful" or call just to say hi. And when you find yourself talking about her and telling stories of what you did together last weekend. When you can't see your life without her. When you want to do everything with her. When her touch still makes me tingle. The way she squirms when I bite her neck. When she looks into my eyes and everything around her disappears.


When you truely Love someone you fall in Love with them everyday.